Monday, May 20, 2024

Rating The Horror Movies I Have Watched.

Hey! 

Surprise! It's been a while since I have done this, but I think it's time to share some unsolicited horror movie opinions! Doesn't that sound so very fun! During my attempts to watch horror movies every day for the past few Marches and Octobers, I have watched quite a few horror films. Like there have been a lot. And those are just the ones that I have watched during those months. 

I figured that if I really needed a way to generate content for a blog I really like writing, I could write about things I know. Horror is something I like and I love recommending movies to other people. So, why the hell not. 

I am going to be picking ten movies that I have seen, and rating them from one to ten (with one being the worst, and ten being the best.) These are just going to be general ratings that combine how I felt about different aspects of the movie. These are just opinions though. Don't take my word for anything here. I will just tell you how I felt about it. 


Vampires vs The Bronx -- 8/10

Vampires vs. The Bronx was the first movie I watched during the first go-through of trying to watch one horror film a day. It's currently on Netflix (as far as I know?) and it stars a group of three boys who discover that vampires have infiltrated the Bronx. This movie has a likeable main cast in the three boys, and most of the other side characters. It also features SNL's Chris Redd (I always love it when he pops up in horror movies!) Camp, vampires, and the likeable cast really push this movie up for me. However there are certain story elements that kinda seemed abrupt? I could be wrong. This is totally worth a rewatch soon. And it actually might be a good horror movie for the family.


Pitchfork -- 2/10

Have you ever been drawn in by a movie's description and thought, "Wow! This sounds so promising!" only for it to somehow... what's the opposite of exceed? Yeah. This movie lures you in with a premise of a young man returning to his country home with a group of his friends, to come out to his family as a gay man. However, it does very little with this plot, and the resolution of said plot is... really underwhelming? The most notable thing about this movie, outside the convoluted plot (especially in those last twenty minutes because what the actual fuck,) was that there was a dance sequence that lasted about three to five minutes. Three to five minutes. There were two characters in the movie I actually cared enough about to root for. And even then, it wasn't by much. This movie confused me. So very much. The only reason it's not lower is because I liked those two characters, and the dance sequence was okay. If you dare to try and watch, the movie is on Tubi. Just know I did warn you.


Kristy -- 9/10

For fans of the Strangers movies, Kristy is a 2014 film (also on Tubi) about a college co-ed spending the holidays on campus who is forced into a battle for her life when armed intruders invade campus with murderous intent. This was recommended on Horror Twitter, and I am so glad I tried it out, because I was so impressed by this movie. The story was good, the main character was someone who you were able to watch adapt and grow through the film, and the villains were all very chilling. I strongly recommend this one for any slasher fans. I feel like this counts. 


Tell Me How I Die -- 6/10

Don't mistake this lover rating as me not enjoying this movie. I thought it was a good movie with a good concept, and a strong cast. It features a group of college students who take part in a drug trial. However the drug has a negative effect and shows them ways that they'll die, and they attempt to prevent them. Cool concept right? Unfortunately, some parts of the plot didn't do it for me, especially near the end. But with a cast featuring Virginia Gardner, Nathan Kress, and Youtube's Ryan Higa (which is actually how I learned about this movie) I found it easy to overlook some of the flaws and I still mostly enjoyed the movie. (Yes, this is also from Tubi. Sue me.)


Dog Soldiers -- 10/10

This may be the recency bias talking here, but I genuinely cannot think of a single thing I didn't like about this film. This movie follows a squad of soldiers that comes under attack from werewolves during an exercise. This movie was recommended to me by quite a few members of the Furry Writer's Guild. And let me tell you, those guys know how to pick a good horror movie. It had a strong cast, a good story, and the gore was so... I was gonna say gory, which seems silly but it was exactly what you'd expect from a werewolf movie. Messy blood and guts. (This is available to watch on Hulu.)


Willy's Wonderland -- 9/10

9/10 feels like a huge disservice to this movie, because despite that rating, I fucking loved this movie. Willy's Wonderland seems like it's made in the same vibe of the popular Five Nights at Freddy's franchise, and in a way it kind of is. People getting murdered by animatronics/robots. However, this movie features Nicolas Cage. Nicolas Cage fighting animatronics. And he doesn't say a word the whole movie. I feel like it's important to say that this movie should be experienced knowing as little as possible. Sure, the story of the movie isn't great, but Nic Cage and his performance literally makes it impossible for me to put this lower than a nine. (This is also available to watch on Hulu.)


Alien -- 9/10

Anyway, back to realistic ratings with this movie. Alien is a classic. Most people who know sci-fi and horror, know Ridley Scott's Alien. It's famous for so many scenes and characters. (i.e one of John Hurt's most iconic scenes ever) But I think one of the best parts of this movie is the suspense. Given that the Xenomorph is such a big part of the plot, it's only on-screen for like five minutes. And Ellen Ripley is one of the best final girls in cinematic history. (Available to watch on, yep! Hulu!)


Barbarian -- 8.5/10

A woman arrives to her Airbnb to find that someone else is staying there, and it is Bill Skarsgard. But wait, it's not actually what you think! This movie was pretty well done. Great acting from the main cast of Georgina Campbell, Bill Skarsgard, and Justin Long. The movie's story is a puzzle, and not in a bad way. Because it gives you the pieces. The less you know about this movie going in, the better the exprience. It's something I recommend for sure.


Slash/Back -- 7/10

This movie is in a similar vein as Vampires vs. The Bronx. It takes place in a small village south of the Arctic Circle, and features a group of teenage girls who have to fight off an alien invasion with makeshift weapons and their horror movie knowledge. It's very clear this movie is made by people who love the horror genre, especially with the love it gives to John Carpenter's The Thing. The teenage cast actually felt very realistic, especially with the way they talked to each other, and their parents. (I know this from being a substitute teacher.) The main characters were certainly standouts. I'm definitely planning on rewatching this at some point in the near future. 


The Babadook -- 6.5/10

This is going to be a hard opinion to share. But I wasn't a huge fan of the Babadook. Now you're probably wondering, "Vinnie? Why isn't it rated lower then?" The Babadook is a well-made, well-acted movie! That's why. Even if I didn't enjoy it, I can still acknowledge that something is well-made, and the scares were real and genuine. But this movie was not my cup of tea.


Well. That's ten. I may do more soon if I feel like it! ^-^ If you watch any of these movies and have different opinions. Let me know here, or on my tumblr (@scaredycatscreeches). 

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Rating The Horror Movies I Have Watched.

Hey!  Surprise! It's been a while since I have done this, but I think it's time to share some unsolicited horror movie opinions! Doe...